Written by John Klemeyer

Direction by Beth Kelley

Studio Theatre

Offal Endings

“Klemeyer’s fascinating premise contains black humor, his affectionately well-drawn characters are appealing, and his dialogue is sharp, and often eloquent… creatively staged and wonderfully performed… a thoughtfully entertaining 90 minutes!” – Theaterscene.org

The Suicide Hotline has been privatized so you can get assistance, whatever your choice, for a fee.

Ripped from headlines, Offal Endings imagines a near future where the commercialization of medicine has vastly expanded, organ replacement is advertised during baseball games, and even the suicide hotline has become a toothy, for-profit venture. Absurdly ensnared in this web of “health care,” life-weary Joshua and Mary must find a way to envision a brighter future while evading the fine print of a contract to which they have signed away their lives. In this dystopia-meets-Mel-Brooks comedy, Joshua looks at the menu to only find liver…his. And, after Mary and he fight back, the corporation is not about to roll over. Are they destined for the butcher block, or can this young man and woman survive the surgeon’s blade?


Things to Note Before Attending: 

This performance uses strobe effects and flashes of light that could trigger seizures or other disorienting effects. The use of this lighting occurs twice, lasting 25 seconds in duration, about 45 minutes into the show during the “Operating Scene”. If you feel unwell, please contact the nearest crew or staff member for assistance.

If you have photosensitivity or an elevated risk of a seizure, we do not recommend watching this scene. 


Offal Endings contains discussions of depression and suicide which some people may find disturbing. Recommended for ages 17+. 


Masks must be worn at all times- Click here for our full COVID-19 safety policy

All tickets include a $2.50 Restoration Fee
$5.00 Service Fee will be added to tickets purchased online or by phone